Balance

I feel like I’m dropping the ball as a mother.
J and I get Ben and Henry ready for bed at the same time. Since Ben is still so young and nurses to sleep, I’ve been getting Ben ready at night, and J has been getting Henry ready.

For the past week or two, J has been doing Henry’s bedtime routine pretty much by himself: bathroom, (shower/bath as needed) brush teeth, pjs, story, song and off to bed.  

Last night was no different. As I was nursing Ben to sleep, J was getting Henry ready. J went through the whole deal with no issues. When J closed Henry’s door, everything seemed fine, but 10 minutes later Henry was calling for J. J went in to check on Henry, retucked him in and everything was again fine. Then, 10 minutes later, the same thing happened. However, then J came into Ben’s room and told me that Henry was asking for me. I hand an almost asleep Ben over to J and go into Henry’s room.

I climb onto Henry’s bed and snuggle with him, and we proceed to talk for a few minutes. He’s telling me about his day, who he played with, what happened during music class, how much he likes gym, and then he dropped a bomb on me.

Henry looked at me and said “Don’t forget me, mom.” I almost burst into tears right then and there. Instead, I hugged him to me and proceed to tell him how I could never forget him, and how much he means to me, and how special I think he is.  The emotional weight of that statement….

I’m so wrapped up in providing Ben with everything he needs that I feel like I’m putting Henry on the back burner too often, and he’s noticing. My heart is breaking. I need to do better.

How do you balance love and attention and time with more than one kid?

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