One of the hardest things for me about being a parent of young children is catching up on sleep. There are times when I desperately want to go to bed early; where I want to get into pjs and crawl into bed an hour after I get home from work. But, of course that isn’t possible. Instead, I have to make sure that my four year old has his homework done, has had dinner, and get a bath, brushed his teeth, has a story and a song and gets tucked into bed with a kiss and a hug and warm “I love yous.”
I also have to make sure that my four month old is warm, bathed, and fed. I have to ensure that he’s snuggled and loved on. I try to make sure that he’s apart of Henry’s story time, and that he’s close by when I’m singing to Henry.
Then of course there’s the house hold chores that need to be done each night. Cooking dinner, cleaning up from dinner/ doing dishes. Putting leftovers away and making lunches for me, J and Henry. Washing my pump and bottle parts, and packing my pump bag for the next day.
It honestly feels like the list is endless, and that from the moment I get home it’s all a whirlwind to get everything done, and hardly any time to just enjoy the time with my boys (including J).
I know all of these feeling of inadequecy, sadness, exhaustion and loneliness are due to me just being tired. But, it’s part of the job right now to just make it through, and keep pushing forward. These hard times with the kids is a phase. I know that it will pass, and I’ll look back and wish I had more time with my kids as babies.
There are definitely trade offs to being parents. Right now I’m trading sleep for the chance to love on two beautiful boys who light up my life.