Sleep Like A Baby

I don’t think I will ever understand baby sleep.
I really feel like as soon as you are used to one routine, things change. For the past several weeks, Ben has been waking up 2 to 3 times a night. This was becoming so common that I would often wake up a few minutes before he did because my internal clock was expecting it!

Last night was different. Instead of me waking up because my baby was crying and hungry, I was waking up because my baby wasn’t waking up….That’s right….I couldn’t sleep because I kept expecting to be woken up any moment….a moment that didn’t arrive until 4:30 this morning.  

I woke up multiple times last night and had to lull myself back to sleep each time. If I remember correctly, J even woke up with me, and he got up just to make sure that Ben was ok….and he was…he was just sleeping. You know, that thing that all parents want their babies to do. But, when it happens it then creates so much anxiety that us new parents (and new again parents) still can’t sleep because we NEED to know that everything is ok.

I’m actually wondering if this post is making any sense. My sleep deprived brain isn’t firing on all cylinders. And that’s funny, because my brain should be well rested….


Tongue Tie

I’ve been having some issues with breastfeeding lately. I’ve been having some engorgement, and Ben’s been having some green poops and a lot of gassiness. He also pulls on and off a lot during nursing – to the point that we both get frustrated. And, he also makes a lot of clicking sounds when he nurses. That information lead me to believe that I was having an over supply issue, so I called the hospital lactation consultants and asked for an appointment so I could get some help.
My appointment was yesterday afternoon at 4:00. I picked Ben up after work and my mom came with us to the appointment. Ben hadn’t had a bottle since 1:00, so he should have been hungry. I actually remembered the lactation consultant from the hospital when Ben was born.  

We stripped him down to his diaper and she weighed him – and he was 15 lbs and 15 oz. After that, I got settled in the chair and started nursing him. Ben did his thing where he would nurse for 3 second and then pull off, and he repeated that process for about 15 times in a row. The lactation consultant observing the whole thing. We then switched sides when it was apparent that he and I were getting frustrated with the process, and he nursed again with the same pattern of breaking off every few seconds. Then she re-weighed him, and somehow he ingested about 2 ounces of milk (I’m surprised at that).  

The lactation consultant then asked if she could poke around inside his mouth, and I consented. She then told me that she thinks he has a frenulum issue. The frenulum is that thick membrane that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth. In Ben’s case, it’s too tight, short and located too far forward. This inhibits his ability to get a good suck going and she believes it’s causing all of his issues with nursing.  

She went on to say that right now my milk supply is good, but that he’s basically living off of my letdown, and she believes that soon we’d start to see his weight drop as my milk supply decreases from him not effectively emptying my breasts.

She then gave me a hand pump and had me express off everything that was left in my boobs. I got 3 ounces from my right, and 1 one my left. 4 ounces of milk that he didn’t eat, that over time my body would stop producing because it thinks it’s not needed…

So, while I research this, I’m to pump to empty my boobs at work, and I’m to start pumping twice a day when I get home – both after feedings.

We have out 4 month appointment next week and I’m going to bring this up to his pediatrician. But, I’m really starting to lean towards having his frenulum cut. From what I’ve gathered so far, Ben’s frenulum could cause him to stop gaining weight, to have speech issues later in life (J has a speech impediment, and apparently it’s hereditary). It can also cause gum recession, migraines, reflux (which Ben has), and a bunch of other problems.

I asked the lactation consultant if Ben was her child is she would have his frenulum snipped, and she said yes. I have a lot of thinking to do right now. 

If you were in this situation, what would you do?       

Month 4

Dear Benjamin,
Today we have hit the 4 month mark! My goodness how time is flying by!! It’s just amazing to me how much you’re growing and changing and developing! Your personality is really starting to shine through. You’re usually one happy baby, but you also have a temper on you, and when that temper comes out…..oy…You smile and laugh all the time. You also study everything around you and just take it all in. You especially love watching Henry, and when Henry plays with you and pays attention to you, you just light up!  

The other day, you were in your exersaucer playing, and were starting to fuss a little bit, and Henry came over and was showing you how to move some of the stuff on it, and you immediately stopped fussing, started watching Henry intently and then tried to do what he was showing you. It was a moment that melted my heart.

You’ve started to blow raspberries, and it’s adorable. Your Dad, Gram and I all blow raspberries at you, and then you’ll do it right back! It’s so fun to interact with you!! In other developmental news, you are not rolling over yet, but you’re close! We’ll put you on your tummy and your hips will rock back and forth like you’re trying, but you haven’t mastered it yet. It’s right around the corner I’m sure.

Right now you’re sleeping pretty well. I always feel nervous writing that, afraid I’m going to jinx it. Right now you’re struggling to go to sleep. It takes us a while to get you calmed down and ready for bed, but once that happens, you’ll sleep really well. Last night you slept from 10:00 – 6:00. I had to wake you up at 6 to feed you before I went to work, but then you slept until 8:30 after that. Naps are a bit of a different story. Some days you’ll have your 3 naps just fine, other days…..not so much.  

Nursing has been interesting lately. Right now I believe I’m struggling with an over supply. You sputter and cough a lot while nursing, you also pull on and off quite a bit, and it gets super frustrating for both me and you, not to mention that you’ve been having a lot of bright green poops. I have an appointment next week to meet with a lactation consultant so we can figure out if I do have an over supply, and what to do about it.

At 4 Months Old you LOVE:

Playing – either people playing with you or you manipulating toys.

Singing – you just smile ear to ear when we sing to you



Henry – my goodness how you love him. You always watch him and want to interact with him, and you just light up when he plays with you
At 4 Months Old you HATE:



Tummy time….I thought it was getting better, but not really. It just makes you MAD. You’ll tolerate it for a few minutes, and then you get angry. And even after we get you off your tummy you’ll do your angry cry for a solid 5 minutes to vent your frustration

Hunger – this seems obvious, but if I don’t get to you quickly enough, you completely lose your cool and just act like you’re never going to eat again

Exhaustion – you do not like being tired

I love you so much. You’re bringing so much joy and fun into our lives. I love to watch you, and I keep wondering what you’re going to be like when you’re older. Your personality is starting to shine through. As of right now, I believe that you’re a fun loving little boy, who loves to laugh and smile. You’re quick to get angry and frustrated, but you’re also fairly quick to get over your anger and frustration and move on. You also seem like you’re going to be independent. You like to sleep on your own and not be held while you sleep. But, you seek that cuddle and touch when you’re awake. You study everything right now. I can see wheels turning as you watch and try and manipulate things – it’s really fascinating to watch.

I love you Ben, remember, no matter how big you get, you’ll always be my baby.


Long Night

Last night is a blur and not even in an alcohol induced kind of way….
Everything was running smoothly for the most part. We started getting Henry ready for bed at 8:30, and he was asleep by 9. Ben was being a little more complicated though.  

Ben was fussy all through the early evening, and was down right cranky while J and I were trying to get Henry through his bedtime routine. It got to the point that J had to take Ben out of the room so I could finish reading Henry a bedtime story and then sing him his song.  

Once I got Henry to bed, I went into Ben’s room to nurse him and get him ready. He was already PJ’d and night-time-diapered-up, so all there was left to do was hook him up to the boob and rock him to sleep. That started at 9:10…..

Ben fell asleep on me almost immediately. So, I had J come in to annoy Ben into waking up some more so he could fill his belly, you know, so he’d actually sleep through the night. When I had a fussy and crying, albeit awake baby again, I hooked him back up to the boob and he nursed for a much longer period of time.  

Then, we started to play a night time game that I hate. All mothers know this game. It’s the “I’m going to nurse to sleep, but I’ll wake up the second you put me in my crib” game. We played that game until 10:30, when I finally won.

So, I snuck out of Ben’s room, crawedl into my bed (next to an already asleep J) and am out by 11. I get six hours of straight sleep before I’m woken up by Ben’s cries at 5.

I enlist J to help me change Ben’s diaper, and then I nurse him again. But, because I only got 6 hours of sleep, I fall asleep while nursing him. The first time I wake up, it’s 5:30, so I make Ben switch sides. And, then I continue to doze for a while, and the next time I look at the clock….it’s 6:00….. I have to be at work by 7…..

I start doing that loud whisper for help, and after several attempts, J comes into Ben’s room. I tell him that I’ve got to get in the shower and get ready for work, but Ben is still eating and won’t let me put him down. J and I bicker back and forth about who’s going to sit with the baby, and who’s going to be late for work. We end up waking up my mom so she can rock Ben, and I can start getting ready.

In the end….I’m late for work AGAIN, sleep deprived and in a shitty mood. How can it be such a bad day already and only be 10:00?