I’m tired. It’s more than tired. I’m exhausted. So exhausted that it’s a struggle to form a sentence.
Everyday this week Ben has woken up at 4:30 to nurse. So, J and I get up, change his diaper and then we bring him into bed with us. I nurse him in the sidelying position and doze for the next 45 minutes until my alarm goes off at 5:25. I never really fall asleep – mostly because I need to be conscious enough to relatch Ben if he comes off.

I get ready for the day at 5:25, and by 6:15 I’ll wake Ben back up to nurse one more time before I leave for work. I’m usually out the door between 6:45-6:50.  

Then I’m at work from 7:00 – 3:15. I run around all day, getting this kid from that classroom and that kid from this classroom and then walking them to my classroom to teach for 30 minutes, and then walking them back after.

Once I’m home, I get handed a hungry baby and I nurse him anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour, but it honestly feels like he’s attached to me from 3:30 until I need to hand him off so I can cook dinner.  

I cook dinner from 6-7, and then we eat dinner at the table as a family. Then it’s clean up time. We do dishes, put away left overs, make lunches for me, J and Henry. We wash bottles and all of my pump parts, and I repack my pump bag. I make my breakfast for in the morning (mason jar oatmeal). After all that is done, Ben is usually hungry again, and it’s time to get Henry to bed.

So, we get both boys in pjs, and Ben in his sleep sack, and I nurse Ben while J helps brush Henry’s teeth, picks out a book or two and then tuck Henry in bed. We’ll usually sing a song to Henry. I’ll go in Ben’s room and finish nursing Ben in the rocking chair. Henry has lights out at 9, and Ben is usually out by 9:30.  

After all of that I collapse into bed and am out by 10:00, only to be waken up at 4:30 again to start my day the next day.  

Last night I was so tired that I could barely function and I was rediculously close to tears for most of the night. I need sleep. I’m not getting enough sleep, and I have no idea how to get more…..

it’s a good thing he’s so cute


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