Week 24

Dear Baby,
This week you’re the size of a cantaloupe! At 24 weeks, you’re getting more and more ready for life outside. You’re starting to gain weight and add adorable baby fat to your little body. Your skin is also starting to change from transparent to opaque. You have hair, but at the moment it’s white. The color will change soon, and I can’t wait to see if you’re going to be blonde like your brother or brunette like me.  

Right now I’m just trying to manage my gestational diabetes. My after meal numbers are great, but my fasting numbers are all over the place. I’m trying to get help for it, but that’s turning out to be more difficult than expected. Because of several reasons, I’m falling out of love with my midwife and I’m thinking about switching practices. Your dad and I are touring a nearby birth center this week to see if it will be a good fit for us.

I feel you moving more and more. Recently I’ve been finding myself grunting from your kicks. Not because they hurt, but because they’re so strong and seemingly out of nowhere that it takes me by surprise. I love feeling you move. I really do. Every time I feel it, it makes me feel close and connected to you. I usually feel you move whenever I’m sitting down and being still. That rarely happens at work, but when I’m home I feel it all the time. I can’t wait for your movements to be strong and consistent enough for Henry to feel it. I can’t wait to see the look on his face.

By the way, your brother is very concerned with how you’re going to come out. He told me the other day that he wants me to be put back together and not broken when you come out. He’s also afraid that your kicks will break me. It’s the cutest thing ever.

I’m working hard to make sure you getting everything that you need, and nothing that you don’t. I’ll continue that trend for the rest of your life. Keep growing (reasonably so) and know that you are beyond loved.



Fasting Blood Sugar Readings

I’m really irritated with my midwife and her whole practice. Since being diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, I’ve been working really hard on getting every blood sugar reading below where it needs to be. After meal readings need to be under 120 two hours after meals. I’ve been aiming for 110 or less, and I’ve been making it! My breakfast, lunch and dinner readings are fabulous, and predominately under or around 100.
My fasting levels on the other hand…..they’re awful. They range from 88-140, and they need to be under 90. I’ve tried adding a bedtime snack at night. I’ve tried the snack being all protein, a mix of protein and carbs, and all carbs, and it doesn’t seem to matter what I eat, my fasting numbers are terrible.

Realizing that this is a problem, I contacted my midwife about it and asked for some help – specifically for me to be referred to a nutritionist so that we can work out a plan to get the numbers under control. The first time I asked, I was told that we would discuss it at my next appointment. As my appointment at the time was less than a week away, I was ok with that. At that appointment, I was told that I’d be referred to a nutritionist.

A week later, when I still hadn’t heard anything about the referral, I emailed my midwife to ask for an update. I was then sent an email by the woman who does all of the office referrals stating that I was signed up for an “intro to gestational diabetes class.” Um…I know what gestational diabetes is. I’ve had it before. I remember how I’m supposed to eat, and I know how to use my meter. These are all the things you learn in the class. I know, cause I’ve sat through it before.

I emailed my midwife back, and told her this is not what I wanted. I want a one on one meeting with a nutritionist to help make a personal plan for how to control my fasting numbers.

Two days later, I get an email back from her stating that my fasting numbers are controlled by my metabolism, and if a protein snack at night hasn’t helped, then only medication will. And, that we’ll discuss this more at my next appointment. My next appointment is in 3 weeks.

So, am I to understand that my blood sugars from dinner to breakfast will continue to be out of control for the next three weeks, and my midwife is ok with it? All totaled this will be 6 weeks of my fasting numbers being haywire, and I’ve had no help, after repeatedly asking for it.

I’m to the point that I’m thinking of switching practices.  

Week 23

Dear Baby,
We’ve made it 23 weeks! You’re as big as a grapefruit right now. About 11 inches long and weighing around 1 pound. Your face is fully formed, and now you’re just needing a little extra fat to fill in those adorable little cheeks. You’re also listening to what’s going on around you. You can hear my heartbeat, voice and tummy rumbles. And, you can hear some outside sounds if they’re loud enough. I’m pretty sure you heard most of the Deadpool movie that we went to last weekend (you’ll think that’s awesome when you’re older).

What’s new with me? Well, I’ve been sort of diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I’ve been tracking my blood sugar with my meter like my midwife asked me to, and without diet control, all of my readings are high. So, I’m back on the gestational diabetes diet, and I’ve started walking again (really hard to do when you’re exhausted from turning food into a baby). My fasting sugars are still high, and I might be put on medication for it. I’m hopefully going to meet with a nutritionist soon to try to figure things out.

I’ve also stated to get your nursery ready. We organized it (again), ordered a crib, hung up all the clothes we had from your brother. I washed receiving blankets and burp clothes and put them away. I’ve also made a list of what to buy and when so that we can keep on schedule with our purchasing. 

Last week we had an ultrasound of you, where they found a shadow on your heart. I’m to go back in 4 weeks for another ultrasound so they can get a better look at it. It seems like this pregnancy has been one big scare after another. What with my progesterone levels bottoming out and then having to check for viability, and then the diabetes, and now with a shadow on your heart. I’m hoping that everything is ok, and that you’re going to be perfect and alright. I worry about you.

Keep growing and know that I love you with all of my heart,


Shadow on Heart

I had a follow up ultrasound last Friday. It was schedule because they didn’t get all of the pictures they needed at the midpregnancy ultrasound because the baby was so active. This time, the baby was pretty sleepy. Moving some (arms and lefts mostly), but not much.
The tech was able to get some pictures that she needed, but not others because she couldn’t get the baby to move. She poked and prodded my stomach, she had me turn from one side to another and back again. She had me get up and jump around. Nothing worked, that baby didn’t want to move.

Eventually she gave up and sent me on to see the midwife. I didn’t get to see my regular midwife. Instead, I saw one that I’m not the biggest fan of. We talked about my Gestational Diabetes, and the problems I’ve been having with my fasting numbers, and she’s getting me a referral to a nutritionist.

Then, she dropped a bomb on me. She told me that the ultrasound found a shadow on the baby’s heart. I asked her what that meant, and she pretty much refused to give me an answer. She told me that it could be nothing, and that I’m to come back in four weeks for another ultrasound. If the shadow is still there, they’ll send me for a more in depth ultrasound. If it isn’t there, then we simply won’t worry about it. 

She asked me if we had any genetic testing done, and I told her that we did the NT scan, and that everything came back normal, and she just nodded at that.  

I was beyond miffed that I couldn’t get more information out of this woman. She basically told me that there’s a potential problem, but she wouldn’t tell me what the problem could be! So, of course I googled “ultrasound found shadow on baby’s heart” as soon as I got home, and that did nothing to allay my fears. It could be a calcium deposit, or a “medium marker” for down syndrome. I stopped googling after that. I don’t want to scare myself silly. I go back for that follow up ultrasound on March 11, and I’m just trying to remain calm until then.  

Week 22

Dear Baby,
Your eyes and lips are more developed now, which means that you’re looking more and more like the cute little kiddo you’re going to be in just a few short months. This week you’re also sleeping in cycles. You’re sleeping around 12-14 hours a day – although you’re awake as I write this, you’re kicking and squirming nonstop right now (I love it!).

I was thinking the other day about the fact that I only have about 4 more months until I get to meet you. I’m so excited for it. To hold you, watch you grow and get to see what kind of person you’ll grow up to be. I can’t express to you how eager I am to watch and be apart of all of that.

This week my back has really started to hurt, as well as my hips. Last night was particularly bad. I was awake enough to see each hour on the clock flash by. I’ve also been a little remiss in doing my guided meditation, and I need to start doing those at least once a day. I tried to do one on Saturday, but ended up falling asleep halfway through it. Hopefully my subconscious was listening at some level. This week at work is also stressful for me. Two teachers have gone out on maternity leave, and my schedule has taken a huge hit because of it. Hopefully I’ll be able to adapt quickly.

Keep growing, and know that I love you!


Gestational Diabetes 

So, it’s looking like I might be a gestational diabetic again. My fasting blood sugars have been all over the place, and my midwife is thinking of putting me on medication to help with the fasting numbers.  
I’m trying to do everything I can to help control them, but not much has been working. I eat a protein snack before I go to bed. And, while it’s helped to lower the number, it’s not low enough. I also don’t like it. I’ve waken up feeling nauseated every time I’ve had a snack before bed.  

I’m keeping all of my other numbers exactly where they need to be or lower, and I’m still having issues. My after dinner reading the other night was 86 (aiming for below 120), but my fasting the next morning was 97, and it needs to be under 95. I’m close, but not quite there.

It’s just super frustrating. Hopefully, I’ll figure it out and I’ll get it down.

Week 21

Dear Baby,
At 21 weeks you’re now the size of a pomegranate, which seems smaller than a banana….I’m telling you these size comparisons are just wonky. Your digestive system is starting to work full time and even starting to make meconium – which will be your first poo (lovely right?).  

Not much is new with me. I’m still tracking my blood sugars to see if I’m developing into a gestational diabetic. I have a midwife appointment on 12th, so I’m guessing it might be addressed then. I’ve started taking biotin to help regrow my hair. It never recovered from my postpartum period with your brother, and has been steadily falling out ever since. Hopefully this will help to regrow it.

Right now I am looking all over pintrest to find the perfect colors for your nursery. I’m trying to decide between a blue or a green wall, and I can’t tell if I want your accent colors to be green or red. Your dad and I will be painting and setting up your room over spring break, so hopefully I’ll have a decision made by then.

I find that I touch my belly all the time now. It makes me feel that much closer to you. The way that my placenta is positioned I don’t feel you move as strongly as I did with Henry. I’ll feel your strong movements soon enough, and I’m so excited for it!

Keep Growing! I love you,