Favoritism

Henry has started to play favorites….and I am most certainly NOT his favorite.

He’s happy when it’s just me and him. He crawls at lightning speed to me when he I pick him up at daycare. He attached a death grip to me when I try to hand him over in the mornings at daycare. But, he will hurl himself out of my arms in an instant – possibly doing bodily harm to me or him, if J is in his line of sight. Also, if for some reason that J needs me to take the baby for a moment, Henry will scream like he’s being tortured. Like someone just ripped his favorite stuffed animal opened, proceeded to rip all of the stuffing out, and then fed what was left to the dog….

Last night, when Henry and I got home, J was already home and he got Henry out of his carseat and hugged him, and then was handing him back to me so that he could do something in the kitchen, and Henry had a melt down. Like a true toddler temper tantrum. I took Henry into the living room where he screamed, tears rolling down his cheeks, he refused to be held and kept pushing me away. He would throw himself backwards on the sofa and then kicked and turned so that he was face down, and screamed into the sofa cushions. I tired to hold and console him. I tried singing to him – that made him scream harder. I tried rocking him. Nothing worked. He did not want me, he wanted J and nothing I could do would satisfy or console him.

It’s amazing that a 13 (almost 14! eeek!) month old can chop away at your self-esteem so much. Being rejected by a toddler hurts way more than I ever thought that it would, and I’m kinda struggling with the rejection right now. I know that he still loves me. He does hurl himself out of J’s arms every night when it’s time to nurse him before bed. But, some nights I think that he just wants the boob, and doesn’t really care that I’m attached to it.

I’m hoping that this is a passing phase (it has to be, right?), and that it will pass fairly quickly.

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4 thoughts on “Favoritism

  1. Okay I feel bad that I giggled a little when I read this. I know all too soon I will have my own feeling hurt by my little guy too. My mom said she cried the first time my sister and I told her we hated her.
    What I will try to remind myself when the time comes is “this too shall pass”.
    Side note. I have felt the same way about the boob thing. Like he only wants my boobs. Not me. Such a guy. Hah!

    • I’m hoping you’re right and that this will pass, and quickly too. I’ve been doing some reading about it, and found that children who feel secure in their parent’s love often do this. They’re showing their independence and making choices and know that even if they jilt us that we’ll still love them. I just have to swallow the hurt that goes with it for a little while I guess.

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