I guess I should start off by staying that I’m still pissed.
It doesn’t make matters any better that Henry, J and I all had a rough night last night. Henry woke up at 10:00 whimpering. Those whimpers turned into cries and those cries escalated into screams. Eventually, so that we could all get some sleep, we just brought Henry into bed with us. He spent the whole night hooked up to my boob. Any time that he woke up crying, all he wanted to do was nurse. J tried to hold and cuddle him several times last night, and Henry would quite literally push him away and reach for me, and cry until he was nursing again. It’s my guess that he did not like that formula, and wanted his mama and his mama’s milk. It’s also possible that the formula was rough on his stomach and digestive system and that he was hurting and needed comfort. And, while it’s sweet and warms my heart that my baby loves me and wants me so much, I’m exhausted, and beyond exhausted, and my back hurts from sleeping in funky angles all night. Although, I guess this states unequivocally that Henry is not ready to wean.
This morning when I walked into the daycare I stopped to talk to the woman who runs it. She brought me into her office and told me how sorry she was for what happened and that she truly gets why I’m upset. She told me that they have policies in place for situations like this, and that I would have been called had she known about it.
I asked her what steps we can take to make sure that this never happens again. She said that Henry’s teacher is going to be written up and it’ll go in her file. I think that’s a fair outcome.
Then I took Henry to his classroom and handed him over to his teacher. I asked her about what happened yesterday and she told me that she couldn’t find the bottles of breast milk and thought that since Henry is almost a year old that we had decided to wean him, so she gave him formula so he would have something to drink. I told her that I have no plans to wean my son. And, that if I made any changes to his routine or diet that I’m responsible enough to tell them about it. I then went on to show her where the bottles had been in the bag. Her response was that she never would have though to look in that pocket (the milk was in the insulated pocket to keep in cold on the way to daycare), because she doesn’t like to root around in diaper bags because it feels like an invasion of privacy.
….it’s a diaper bag…..there are diapers, bottles, wipes and a few toys in it….if I put something personal in there and she finds it, that’s on me.
I stressed that Henry is to never have formula again in the future, and that all of this could have been solved with a phone call. I stressed the fact that they can’t call me too much.
His teacher didn’t seem that upset about what had happened, and didn’t seem to register that I was really upset about it.
After talking to some people about this at work (one in particular who used to run a daycare), I decided to write a letter to the daycare instructing them to never give Henry formula, and that he is to have the provided breast milk until we decide to stop bringing it, and that I would give them notice before that would happen. I also mention in the letter about the diaper rash cream. And, that if they ever have any questions to CALL us!
I guess that I still can’t get over the fact that I wasn’t called. This may sound weird, but it was a point of pride for me that Henry had never before had formula and had been exclusively breastfed. And, now I feel like I cant’ say that anymore…
J and I have a lot of thinking to do about whether we want Henry to go back there. Thankfully we have the summer to shop around and look at different daycares. J is going to be a stay-at-home dad this summer while eh’s on summer vacation.