Burning Out

I have to say that Henry being in daycare is way harder than I thought it was going to be, and not just for the emotional aspect (although that’s a big one).

I never knew that having a child in daycare meant that I spend an hour or more every evening getting everything ready for the next day. It means shifting my whole schedule around so that I can be more efficient in the mornings with my time and be able to get me, the baby and the dog out the door with a little time to spare so none of us are late.

When I get Henry home now, I get to play with him for about 45 minutes to an hour before he starts to get cranky and really tired.

Here’s what my evening schedule looks like (because I know that you’re all so interested in this…)
5:30 – arrive home with baby
5:30-6:30 PLAY!
6:30 – 7:30 Bath, bedtime routine, nursing
7:30 Henry’s bedtime – although lately he’s been going down closer to 7:00
7:30 – 8:30 Wash and dry bottles, pump parts, nipples. When feeling up to it I sterilize everything too. While washing I also multitask and help J with making dinner.
8:30 – 9:00 eat dinner
9:00 – 9:30 Clean up from dinner, pack my lunch for tomorrow, get Henry’s bottles ready for daycare. Pack up my pump and pumping bottles.
9:30 – 9:50 Shower – I no longer have time to do this in the morning
9:50 – 10:30 my bedtime routine of moisturizing, brushing my teeth, flossing (yes, I actually floss) and sitting in bed watching tv for 5 minutes before I pass out.

This doesn’t leave much room for…well…anything else. And I’m starting to get burned out on all of this, and I’ve only been doing it for 2 weeks. I hate that we eat dinner so late. I hate that I never get anytime to sit and relax during the evening, because I know that there’s still a shit ton to do. I hate that my only time to sit and relax with J is the 30 minutes that we’re scarfing down dinner.
And I can’t do any of these things in the morning because then I’m running around like a crazier person and I forget half the things I need to bring with me.

This is hard, really really hard. I had a friend last night tell me that at one point she lost it and just started bawling one night when she was washing bottles and pump parts because it was so late and she just couldn’t take the stress of it anymore. I can TOTALLY see how that could happen, and I expect that to me in about another week and a half, tops.

And it’s about to get even harder. Henry’s going to be starting solids probably within the week. So, I’m going to have to figure out where to get extra time to have him start playing with food (we’re going to be doing the Baby Led Weaning – which despite all of this scheduling nightmare I’m actually excited about).

I think the only available option is to have one of us cook dinner while the other plays with Henry, and to find a way to push Henry’s bedtime back by 30 minutes (any suggestions on how to do that one?). We also need to start making quick and easy meals instead of the ones that take an hour to make and then 45 minutes to cook.

It would be glorious if I could get our schedule to look like this:

5:15 – arrive home with baby
5:15 -6:00 cook dinner
6:00 – 6:45 eat
6:45 – 7:30 Henry’s bedtime routine and bedtime
7:30 – 8:30 clean up from dinner and wash and pack for tomorrow
8:30 – 9:30 RELAX
9:30 Shower
10:30 My Bedtime!

now if only I could figure out HOW to make that a reality….

3 thoughts on “Burning Out

  1. my fears exactly =\ I have that vision in my head of it being exactly like that if I had to go back to work full time. I just think.. I can’t.. there’s no way…..
    Keep it up though, I know it wont’ be like this FOREVER. It can’t. You are being a wonderful mom. I hope you get some time to yourself on the weekends. And eventually things will get easier! Somehow! Fight for optimism 🙂

    • Thank you. It’s rough right now – not gonna lie, which is why I’m trying to make a plan to make my life a little easier.

      The funny part is that you think you’re going to be sleep deprived because of the baby. But, Henry’s been sleeping through the night for a little while now! Now I’m tired and exhausted and sleep deprived because of all the things I have to do so the baby can be away from me…oy

  2. With A in daycare, the upside when starting solids was that they were really experienced in baby care and actually she was a good solids eater within a few days!!

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