Tears

I’ve been crying all morning.

Henry started daycare today.  I dropped him off at 7:30 this morning.  He was happy and smiling when I dropped him off and too busy looking at everything to bother giving me a kiss (he can totally give kisses now!).  I didn’t start crying until I was walking to the car alone, and then I bawled the entire drive to work.  And I’ve only been crying at work when I think about Henry, so I’ve been crying basically the whole time.

I miss him.  I miss turning around and seeing him smile.  I miss working at my desk and hearing his squeals behind me.  I miss taking time outs from work to get on the floor to play with him.  I miss nursing him.  I miss changing his diaper and making silly faces at him while I do so.

This sucks.  Today sucks.  I want my baby.

I know that he’s having a fabulous time today.  I know that.  I’m not concerned about his welfare.  It’s just such a shock to my system to not have him with me.  He’s been with me all day, every day for almost 6 months, and now I have to go the majority of the day without him.

This is hard.  It’s harder than I ever thought it would be.

Getting ready for his first day of daycare

Getting ready for his first day of daycare

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4 thoughts on “Tears

  1. Awwww, even I feel sad now. I can totally imagine how difficult it would be to put your kid in daycare. Of course you miss him. You’re a mother! You’re not crazy! Society would have you say, you shouldn’t cry, but um, DUH he’s your little baby!!! Now, he’ll be fine and probably have an awesome time, and life will be good. But, aww, drink some comfort tea or hot chocolate today.

    • Thanks. I did treat myself to a latte this morning, and it helped a little bit. People keep telling me that this will get easier, and even though I know that they’re right, I’m having a hard time believing it right now.

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