You’ve been so happy today. I love looking over at you and seeing your face light up with a smile. Happiness just radiates from you when you smile. Your eyes shine, your cheeks glow and you can just tell that you are just genuinely happy. You were sitting in your swing just a little bit ago and smiling and cooing at me for the longest time. And I’d smile and talk back to you, and we’d go back and forth having a “conversation.”
Eventually you got tired of being in your swing and you started to fuss a bit. So I went over and picked you up and you put your little arms around my neck, rested your head on my shoulder and went to sleep. It was such a sweet moment that pulled at my heart strings. You’re so special to me and I love you so so much. I live for little moments like that. Moments where I know that you love me and want me near you. You light up my life so much.
I just had this conversation with J.
Me: When are we going to have a full free weekend to ourselves?
M: My mom’s going to be in town then, that doesn’t count.
J: (flipping through his ical) New Years.
How in the world do we have something scheduled for every weekend from now until New Years? Why is it so hard to just be sometimes?
Henry has started standing on his own. He has to lean or hold onto something while he does it, but I can tell it won’t be too long before he can do it unassisted!
Standing while holding onto his car seat, with his Bubbi waiting to catch him in case he falls.
Henry and I have been having some breastfeeding issues of late. For a while he pretty much refused to eat off of my right breast, but that thankfully has passed (I finally found a position that he’ll eat in). There are two main issues that we’re having right now. The first is that he’ll eat for about 5-10 minutes and then pull off and cry. Then we play this game of me putting him back on, and him pulling off and crying until enough time has passed and then he’ll finally stay latched and eat until he’s full.
The second issue is that he’s been having A LOT of green poop lately. And from my readings that means that he’s getting way too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk, and that I may be having an oversupply problem (he coughs and sputters a lot while eating). The problem with a lot of green poop is that Henry’s not getting enough of the fattier hindmilk and too much foremilk can make a baby irritable and gassy (which he’s been irritable and gassy, so there ya go). So, I’ve been trying to work on this, with feeding him more often and having him nurse on only one breast for 3 feedings in a row, and then switching to the other breast for 3 feedings in a row.
I’ve just started doing this today, and the engorgement is so incredibly painful! The pain goes all the way up to my arm pit! But the bright side is that I’m only engorged on one side at a time. I’m hoping that within a day this will correct itself and that Henry will be less irritable, less gassy and that his poops will be a mustard color again.
I guess it really is true that once you have a baby, you start thinking about poop way too often….oy.
Here’s a few cute pictures to thank you for reading about baby poop and breast milk.
Smiling and talking to me while we relax on the sofa.
Henry while eating before going to bed.
I wish I had a picture of J with Henry tonight.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays J has marching band rehearsal after school. It ends at 6:30 and the kids are supposed to be picked up directly afterward – once all the instruments and equipment have been put away. However, there’s been one kid all season that’s been repeatedly picked up late. Tonight he was picked up at 7:30 – an hour after practice ended. Henry’s bedtime is also at 7:30. Which means that J didn’t get to say goodnight to Henry.
I was in the process of putting Henry down for the night when J called me to tell me he was finally on his way home. I decided to keep rocking Henry and postpone laying him down in his crib when J said that he was so upset that he missed Henry’s bedtime again. So, for 15 more minutes I rocked Henry in my arms (I’m not complaining), and as soon as J stepped into the nursery I handed the baby over so he could rock him and get a few cuddles in with a sleeping baby.
It’s at this point that I wish I had a camera that could take beautiful pictures in a darkened room without a flash that would wake a sleeping baby. The way that J was holding Henry and looking at him brought tears to my eyes. Love was emanating from him so strongly that it was palpable.
I know that J is worried that he’s a bad Dad because he misses so many bedtimes and is working a lot of the time, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. You can’t be a bad parent when you hold so much love in your heart. And, even though Henry is only 4 months old, I know that he knows that his Dad loves him. And I love him too.
…I wish I had a picture…
Dear Henry –
You’re 4 months old today!! You’re growing by leaps and bounds and what you can do now, compared to just a few months ago is truly extraordinary. Your personality is starting to shine through. You are usually one very happy and content little boy. Your smile lights up a room and anyone in close range to it can’t help but smile back. You’ve started to laugh recently. You don’t do it all the time yet (but it’s coming, I know it!), you save it for special moments – mostly when you’re with your grandparents. But, the first time I heard it, I started to tear up. It’s the most beautiful and special sound that I’ve ever heard. You still haven’t done it for you Dad yet, and to be honest his feelings are a little hurt by it – so laugh for him so he can feel a little bit special too.
You started rolling over from your tummy to your back a few weeks ago. You actually started doing it when you were 4 days old, and that scared the crap out of me, but from about 2 months old to 3.5 months old, you didn’t. But you’re back to being a rolling machine. I’ll put you down on your tummy and before I can ever sit on the floor next to you you’ve rolled yourself over. You get such a look of accomplishment when you do it too. You can also stand so well. I stood you up in front of your exer-saucer and you held on to it and stood on your own for a few seconds before you started to topple over, but it was ok, because I caught you.
You’re getting way better at tummy time. You don’t hate it nearly as much as you used to, you still don’t enjoy it, but the moments between when I place you on the floor and when you start to really cry are getting longer and longer.
Nap times have started to go pretty smoothly. I can swaddle you up, put the pacifier in your mouth and place you in your crib and basically just walk away. You’ll maybe fuss for a few minutes, but then you’ll go to sleep for 45 minutes to 2 hours. If only night time sleep could be that good. At the moment you go down really easy and you’ll sleep great for your first stretch, but from about 1:00 am on, you’ll wake up about every hour and help going back to sleep. Usually that just involved putting the pacifier back in your mouth, but sometimes it means rocking you until you pass out again, or bringing you into our bed so that we can all get some sleep.
At Four Months Old You Love:
- Cuddles/Being held
- Smiling and having people smile at you
- Anyone singing “Old McDonald” – you’re a big fan of the dog and the cow
- Playing Airplane
- Being in your exersaucer
- Playing with toys – your getting better at reaching and grabbing everyday!
At Four Months Old You Hate:
- Being tired – this is still the big one
- Your car seat. You cry every time you’re in it
- Baths – depending on how tired you are, and as they’re always right before bedtime, you usually cry through them
- Lotion. I keep hearing that baby massage is supposed to be good for you and me – to help relax us and to use as a good bonding time, but you HATE it with a passion. I’ve tried lavender lotion, non scented lotion. Heating the lotion bottle up in your bath water so it’s nice and warm when I smear it on you. Nothing works. You hate it.
You continue to make our lives interesting. Some days are good, and some days are bad, but overall our days are filled with love and smiles, and if we’re lucky a sweet laugh!
I love you so much,