Meltdown

and I don’t mean the baby….

I’ve been working from home and taking care of a baby, and I can’t even begin to tell you how hard that is.  The only time I can ever get anything accomplished is when he’s sleeping, and his nap schedule will range anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour and a half.

I’ve already had my boss pull me aside twice to tell me that I need to up my work schedule at home because I’m not pulling my weight enough.  Each time that that’s happened, it’s made me want to scream and cry at the same time.  If I up my work schedule that means that Henry is going to get less attention and care.  If I give my time and energy to Henry, it means that my work is going to suffer.  I can’t seem to be able to find a middle ground.

Yesterday, I was trying to put work first for a while, because there was quite a bit of work I needed to do.  I was up and at my desk working at 7:30 am.  From 7:30 to about 1:30, things were going well.  Henry spent most of the morning napping, so I didn’t feel like I was being a bad mother while I focused on work instead of him.

Things were trudging along smoothly and I was looking forward to J being home earlier than he has been in about two weeks.  School gets out at 3, and he had a meeting right after school and expected to be home around 4:30.

At roughly 2:00, Henry started crying…..and wouldn’t stop.  I don’t know if it was because he didn’t get enough stimulation in the morning, or what, but he refused to let me put him down for longer than 15 minutes.  He’s cry, I’d feed him, cuddle him, play with him, change his diaper and try to put him down, and as soon as he was put into his swing, or bassinet he’d cry.  I’d plot the pacifier in his mouth, and he’d spit it out and cry even harder.  I’d get him calm and try and put him down and the whole thing would start again.

At 3:30, he started screaming, and didn’t stop for an hour.  I thought he was going to go hoarse from crying so hard and for so long.  At 4:15, I started calling and texting J that I needed him to come home now, that I needed help and didn’t know what to do.

No answer.  In the mean time, Henry kept screaming.

J didn’t get my texts or phone calls until 4:45 when he was heading home.  By that time, Henry had screamed himself to sleep on my chest and I was holding him and  trying not to have a nervous breakdown.

When J got home, he took Henry from me, and I collapsed on the bed and took a two hour nap.  And for the rest of the night I was completely wiped out and could hardly form a sentence together.

I guess the whole moral of this story is that working from home is hard and I think I suck at it….and I have no idea how to do it better.

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Funny

Today my hubby was trapped on the sofa with Henry in the crook of one arm and our cat Beemer in the crook of the other. While at first he found it cute and made him feel extra loved, after a while his neck and back really started to hurt. But of course, he couldn’t move because he didn’t want to disturb the baby or the fur baby. This was made worse by the fact that I was pumping and couldn’t come to his rescue.

When I was done pumping I did exploit his discomfort to take a few awesome pictures.

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Month 2

Dear Henry –

You’re two months old today!!  It’s hard to believe how much you’ve grown since you were born, but you just keep getting bigger and bigger.  As my dad use to say “I’m going to have to put a brick on your head  to keep you from growing.”  Not only are you growing, but you’re also working on your developmental skills.  Your head control is getting better every day.  I have to say that it is cute to see when your head does get too heavy for you, and all of a sudden it just kind of flops to one side.  I probably shouldn’t laugh when that happens, but I can’t help it.  Your tummy time skills are also improving.  You can definitely pick your head up at a 90 degree angle when you want to, otherwise it just kinda sits at a 45.  Your grip is still super strong, and as a result of that, I had about 4 inches cut off of my hair so it can no longer be used as a torture device against me.  Your grip on your dad’s chest hair still remains and still makes him squeal and makes me laugh. = )

This month your dad and I introduced you to a pacifier.  I have to say that I’m not thrilled with the idea of it, but I can’t dispute that when you’re crying uncontrolably and nothing else will help, it does.  So, for now I’ll use it because it seems to work miracles.

You’re getting better and better at breastfeeding.  Other than getting you to latch as a newborn we never really had any issues with this, but for about the first 6 weeks of life, you liked to take your time to eat and would nurse for over an hour.  Which at times isn’t necessarily a bad thing, except when I’m trying to work and nursing you, playing with you and then struggling to put you down for a nap (which you fight with every fiber of your being) can take over 3 hours.  But within the last two weeks you’ve become a much more efficient eater – which is awesome!!!  Now it only takes about 30 minutes for you to eat during the day, and your once a night meal really only takes about 15 minutes and then we both pass out again.

I have to say that I’m afraid to write this, because I’m afraid that once I post it, that my word will come back to bite me, but I’m going for it anyway.  You sleep through the night really well.  We usually go lay down at around 10:00 and I’ll feed you again between 10:30 and 11:00.  And then we all go to bed (you’re still cosleeping at the moment (that’s for another post)).  After that, you’ll usually sleep for about 6 hours, sometimes more.  Last night you ate at 11:00, and then promptly passed out in bed with us and slept straight through until 6:00 this morning where you ate again, and then you and I went back to bed until 9:30.  So, on the sleeping front – you’re an awesome little boy, KEEP IT UP!!!!

At the two month mark you love:

  • Cuddling
  • Looking out at the world
  • Diaper changes
  • Baths and showers
  • Mommy singing lullabies to you (“Baby Mine,” and “Summertime” seem to be your favorites)
  • Eating
  • Hearing your voice
  • Having people smile/ make faces at you
  • Boxing with dad (video to come at a later date)
  • When your dad does drum talk at your (video to come at a later date)

And you hate:

  • Being cold
  • Being hot
  • Being hungry
  • Being naked
  • Having a dirty or wet diaper
  • Being tired
  • Nap time

None of the “hates” are really shocking anymore, you seem to be pretty easy going, until one of the above happens and then you lose your shit, but I can’t really blame you for that and I do try my best to make sure that you’re kept as comfortable as possible.

Anyway, it’s getting late and your mom’s guilty pleasure (Real Housewives of New Jersey) is on and I need to get some cuddle time with you and your dad before you both pass out.

I love you so much!  Keep growing, just try not to do it so fast!

– Mom

Cuddling time with Mom

2 Month Well Checkup

Henry had his two month well check up yesterday.  He now weighs 10.11 (40th percentile) and is 22.5 inches tall (30 something percentile – I can’t remember).  But the important thing is that he’s growing beautifully and is very healthy.

He also got 3 shots and one oral dose yesterday.  He handled all of the shots like a champ.  But today, my usually happy baby has been cranky, irritable and just plain upset.  Seeing him today is worse than watching him get stuck with 3 needles yesterday.  He just seems to want to cry – even when I’m holding him, which just breaks my heart.

I know that he’s just sore and his legs hurt from where he got those shots, but it still hurts me that I can’t do more to comfort him.

He just started crying again, so that’s going to have to be the end of this post….

No use crying over spilt breast milk…

…although, I came close.

Yesterday J and I spent the afternoon and evening at my sister’s house. Right before dinner, I decided that I’d try and pump real quick so that I could enjoy a(nother) beer with dinner. So, I went into their tv room with my hand pump and proceeded to sit and pump on each breast for over half an hour.

During that time, J came in to sit with me and keep me company (I should note that he was at least 3 sheets to the wind at this point because he was trying to keep up with my brother-in-law). He continued to sit with me while I pumped until I had about 7 ounces in a bottle that was quickly running out of room. After that point, he was trying to be sweet and took the pump which was still connected to the bottle, so that he could pour what I’d already pumped into another bottle so I could keep pumping. My hand pump is a Medela, and my electric is an Ameda (which most of my bottles are), and the Ameda bottles don’t fit the Medela pumps, so I had to switch them out so I could keep using the hand pump because I only have one Medela bottle.

So, J gets up with my 7 ounces of liquid gold, and proceeds to drop the pump and bottle in my sister’s hallway, which spilled all but about 3 ounces….the first time he dropped it. He proceeded to drop it again, and that left about an ounce in it.

I wanted to cry at this point, and I came really close to bawling right then and there.. I worked REALLY hard for that, and then it was all gone….and I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough to feed Henry.

So, I then took the pump and almost empty bottle from J, and sat and pumped for close to an hour after that to only get 2.5 more ounces, a total of 3.5. That, thankfully was enough to feed Henry, but it was a close call.

J is still apologizing for dropping all of that milk, and I’m close to letting him off of the hook for it. He promised me a milkshake (no pun intended) from cookout to try and bribe his way into my good graces , which would totally work, but I have yet to receive it.

On the bright side, my sister’s cats were really happy with the way the evening went….

Life with Cloth Diapers

Henry has been in cloth diapers since a few days after we brought him home from the hospital (when the meconium poos stopped).  My assessment of cloth diapers?  I absolutely love them!!

Henry is primarily in the Soft Bums Echos – that’s what he wears around the house and they really are as amazing as their website says they are.  I have 8 shells and 24 super dry touch liners and around 24 newborn sized liners, and with that amount I’m washing them about every other day.  We have had a few leaks with them, but no blow outs, and the leaks were mostly from leaving him in them too long.  I also need to clarify that when I say “leak” I more mean that an edge of the diaper was wet and it wicked onto his onesie making the onesie wet around the leg holes.

As far as how I wash them, they get tossed into the washing machine with just a little bit of diaper safe detergent (at the moment I’m using All Free and Clear because my grocery store didn’t have the Purex Free and Clear that I wanted to get), they get washed on hot/cold with a soak and an extra rinse.  The shells are line dried and and inserts are thrown in the dyer on high until they’re dry (and because they’re so absorbent they do take a while to dry).  So far we haven’t had any staining – they’re all still beautifully white and look the same as when I bought them.

When we go out and when his Grandparents watch him, we put Henry in bumGenius  4.0 pocket diapers (although the Softbums really are super easy to put on too).  I have absolutely no complains with these either.  They’ve held up well so far and as far as washing goes they get thrown in with the Softbums, and the diaper gets line dried and the insert goes in the dryer.

I know that Henry is only 6 weeks old, but so far we haven’t had a single case of diaper rash, or anything that looks like it.

I’m absolutely loving my diapering choice, and I never have to worry about having to run out to the store to get more diapers and wipes (we’re using cloth wipes too since we’re already doing the laundry).  If we’re running low on diapers they just get thrown in the wash – easy peasy.  Not to mention that they just look super cute on, and they come in so many adorable colors and prints!

Henry is his Softbums