I was overweight before I was pregnant. I wouldn’t call myself fat, I’m not obese, just overweight. So far in my pregnancy I’ve gained about 10 lbs (I’m estimating here – all of my doctor appointments weigh me after lunch and before they let me pee – and by their count I’ve gained 15 lbs). I think that’s fairly reasonable. I’m not going crazy, I didn’t throw caution to the wind and eat everything in sight. I realized that I am overweight and that I don’t need to gain all that much for this pregnancy. I’m hoping that I can make it all the way though with only gaining about 20 lbs. Anyway, the whole reason for this blog post is that I’m sick of people cautioning me not to gain weight. I had to listen to J’s grandparents talk for about 5 minutes about my weight yesterday. They kept going on and on how I shouldn’t gain any weight for this pregnancy, because I won’t be able to lose it, or it will be really hard to lose and it wouldn’t be healthy for me gain any. I just sat there smiling and nodding, thinking that people need to watch what comes out of their mouths, and that comments, well intentioned or not, can be really hurtful.
My mom came to visit me a couple weeks back. I was 18 weeks pregnant at the time. She just kept commenting that I wasn’t showing yet. When I pointed to my tummy and said, “um, yeah I am, that’s the baby,” she responded with “that’s not the baby, that’s just f…” And then she quickly changed the subject. When I first became pregnant, we’re talking probably up until 10 week here, my mom would ask almost weekly how much weight I’ve gained. I refused to tell her, because honestly it’s no ones business but mine and my doctor’s. And again, people need to watch what comes out of their mouths, because these comments are really hurtful, and it just chips away at my self esteem.
I really don’t think that I’m doing that badly. I still fit into ALL of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I can still button my jeans (I don’t ’cause it’s super uncomfortable – but the action can still be done!) I did break down and buy maternity clothes this week mostly because I’m getting tired of the belly bands. One of them fell apart in the washing machine and it’s slowly unraveling, I took this as a sign. I know that I really shouldn’t let what other people say bother me, but not only is that easier said than done, it’s also near impossible to do when it’s your family that’s making you upset. So, far strangers and acquaintances have been very nice to me.
But really, the nerve of people to sit there and call me fat (in a passive aggressive way or flat out), or to tell me to be careful not to gain too much weight…..when will people realize that these comments are mean and just plain hurtful? I think it’s a good rule of thumb to never comment on a pregnant women’s size. No matter if you think her bump or her are too big or too small. Keep it to yourself. Seriously, just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings….