I want to go on the record and say that I love my mother-in-law. For the majority of the time, she’s a warm, compassionate and caring person. Lately though, she’s starting to piss me off. I was at a baby shower for a coworker the other day, and my MIL was there (we work together, and in fact, I’m her assistant), and she did a few things that I found to be hurtful or insensitive, and I’m not sure what, if anything, I should do about it.
The first was that she kept calling my baby a boy to everyone in the room. I know that she was just excited and forgot that we’re keeping the gender a secret, but come on! It shouldn’t have happened more than once, but I think it happened a total of 3 times! I think I played it off pretty well though, but it still irks me.
The second one, and the one that really actually made me mad/upset/bewildered was that she keeps calling MY baby, HER baby. And by kept calling, I mean that it happened more than once. Example:
MIL: “My baby is due in June.”
Me: (looking at her as if she has two heads) “Your baby?”
MIL: laughs it off and continues to call it her baby.
I’m not even sure how to handle this. I’m hoping she realizes that she’s not the one to be raising this child and making the important parental decisions, or even be included in the important parental decisions….I’m just in shock at this statement and have no idea how to handle this….
Thirdly is that she has made it known to me REPEATEDLY, as in at least 6 times now, that she is NOT throwing me a baby shower. I wasn’t expecting her to, I didn’t ask her to. The first time she said it, I told her that it was fine, that my sister and aunt are both throwing me one, and that she doesn’t need to feel obligated to do so. But she keeps restating it, and it’s really starting to hurt my feelings. If she keeps this shit up, she’s not going to be invited to any of them that people are actually planning for me! GRRRRRRRR
Lastly, (for the moment) she seems to be a bit deluded about some things. Example:
J to MIL: “Manda and I were thinking that you might want a car seat base for your car for when you’ll watch the baby. I can get you the information if you want it.”
MIL: “I have a car seat.”
J: “You bought a car seat?”
MIL: “No. I still have yours from when you were a baby. I think that will work fine.”
Me: Staring at her in horror……
Why on earth would she think that a 27 year old car seat would be acceptable? Let’s just throw safety ratings and modern technology and construction out the window, did they even have rear facing car seats 27 years ago?! If she thinks for one moment that I’ll allow her to put my baby in that now death trap, then she is seriously mistaken.
When I first became pregnant I was really happy that we had J’s family close by to help out with the baby. Now….I don’t think I want them near him, and if they are, J or I will always have to be there to supervise…..I’m at a loss….How could a baby (one who isn’t even born yet) turn perfectly normal people into petty, illogical, and mean spirited people? I don’t know what to do!