Anovulation

I showed my chart to my sister.  I trust her opinion in this implicitly.  She charts her cycles and has been doing so far longer than I have, and she’s the reason that I started doing so.  She’s also extremely well read on the subject, and is just a really smart person in general.  She didn’t have long to study my chart, she’s in the middle of studying for law school midterms, but her educated guess = anovulation.  Which is basically exactly what it sounds like, I didn’t ovulate.

I have to say that I was kinda surprised by this at first.  Fertility Friend said that I ovulated (even though I had my doubts on this one), I had 3 positive OPKs, egg white cervical fluid for 3 days – so obviously my body was gearing up for ovulation.  After consulting with Dr. Google I’ve learned that you can have all the signs of ovulation and never actually ovulate.  Stress, travel, sickness, or basically change in any form can cause you to not ovulate.  I’m not sure what caused mine and may never actually know.  It would explain my abnormally long cycle though – now 33 days of low temperatures and no end in sight.

I’m frustrated, and if I’m honest with myself I’m heart broken.  I’m not heart broken at the fact that I’m probably not pregnant.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m upset about that, but I knew that getting pregnant on the first try was slim to none (I’m still really hoping for it though and will be until I know for sure that I’m not).  I’m heart broken because after all of the planning, the trying, the buying of OPKs and pregnancy tests, the dreaming and hoping my body refused to cooperate.  It just flat out didn’t do what it was supposed to do…

Part of me still thinks that there’s still time for me to ovulate this cycle, but the realistic side of me knows better.  Right now I’m just hoping that this is a one time deal and not something that I’ll have to contend with down the road.

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