Waiting Part 1

chart

I’m currently waiting to ovulate.  I’ve been taking an OPK every morning (and one afternoon) for the past 3 days and each morning it comes back negative, although, I think it’s starting to get darker, but it’s really difficult to tell.  It’s probably too soon for me to ovulate anyway, it’s only CD 21, and the earliest I’ve ovulated while tracking my cycles was CD 22.  So, I have at least one more day.  Still, I feel slightly stressed/pressured about the whole situation.  I know that I shouldn’t, that it more than likely won’t help anything, and can actually hurt my chances, but I can’t seem to help it.  Wanting to get pregnant, trying to get pregnant and waiting to ovulate, and then trying to time sex to the right days and then waiting to know if it was successful all feels way more stressful than it should be.  Before, I always thought that getting pregnant just involved a twinkle in the eye followed by spontaneous unprotected romps in the hay, and all that.  However, it would seem that I was seriously mistaken.  Don’t get me wrong, I still think the whole thing should be filled with love, tender moments and the such, but it’s way more planned than I ever considered it would be.

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